Numpty Dumpty

What’s the latest celebrity fashion in Hollywood? That’s right – squid. Squid are the must-have accessory for 2006, and anybody who’s anybody (or has even stood next to somebody who’s been close to anybody) has got their own pet squid.

You can buy squid clothes and accessories, too. Elizabeth Taylor spends more than $50,000 a month on her pet squid Marmaduke. He has his own little squid palace, complete with luxury squid furnishings and a special squid ballroom with chandeliers and a glitter ball. On Saturdays, she takes him to the ball game, where he has his own private box. And on Sunday morning they both go to a special squid church where Marmaduke meets all his little squid friends.

Personally, I think he looks a bit silly in his tartan coat and deerstalker hat, and as far as I can tell a squid has no use for a pipe whatsoever. But Ms. Taylor seems to think he looks good in them, and as long as she’s happy then I suppose its okay.

I draw the line at putting him in Wellington boots, though – and dragging his tentacles along the ground to make out like he’s walking: well, that’s just low, in my opinion.