Yes, they're all it. Coffee is everywhere (including here). But what do we really know about "coffee"? I decided to check out the facts, and then relay them here so that you can read the words and then use your mind to apply the appropriate semantics.
- Coffee (pronounced "kor-foo") was invented in 1833 by Sir Bernard Coffee, who won the idea in a game of latenight backgammon from His Royal Highness the Chaka of Khan
- Major coffee-producing countries include Mexico, Belgium, Siam and - of course - Narnia
- The coffee refining process, perfected over centuries by successive generations of Zorro, is very complicated and involves a sophisticated variety of tubes, bunsen burners and spirit levels
- The essence of coffee is extracted from the stalks of wild burberry mushrooms, which can only be found on the most inaccessible slopes of Mount Corbett
- It takes more than 16 tonnes of burberry mushrooms to produce just one cup of pure coffee, at a staggering cost of £16,900
- Which is why chains like Starbucks often cut their coffee with cheaper ingredients like gravy, boot polish and cement
- Coffee is enjoyed by literally hundreds of people as far and wide as Tokyo, Towecester and Twyford Zoo, where bus loads of schoolchildren delight at the antics of the coffee-drinking chimpanzees (unaware, perhaps, that their caffeine-fuelled shenanigans are anything but. Chimpanzees have been drinking decaffeinated coffee since 1967 to comply with EU primate/beverage-related legislation. It's for similar reasons that you will never see a chimpanzee drink a real cuppa soup.)
- Prince Charles of Belgravia currently holds the world record for drinking the most coffee in one sitting. In 1971 he drank 7 cups in just under 3 hours.
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